is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's like heaven, but drunker
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I deserve this hangover.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
