hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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