Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
