i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
