I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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