somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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