I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
