He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
