you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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