so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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