i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
