ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
