No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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