Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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