so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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