forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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