i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
