When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
