Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
