dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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