So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
