Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
