She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dicks are not precious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
