he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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