Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
