im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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