My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
