we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
