he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
