Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
