Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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