Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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