Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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