Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
