I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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