Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The adults are the big ones right?
You left your phone here
Wait...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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