Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
