chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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