Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She's the barista slut.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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