How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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