He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
