I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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