Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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