im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize