i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
