God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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