I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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