i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
