I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
