So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
