are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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