Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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