so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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