I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
