Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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