Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
this is an emotional support booty call
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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