and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
