i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm bleeding and have questions
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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