Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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