yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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