Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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